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Title: Heroic Dramatics
Author: butterflyslinky
Pairing(s): Eventual Linkara/Spoonette; Spoony/80s Chick; one-sided Linksano/Spoonette
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 17,778
Warning(s): Violence, off-screen character death
Summary: Having been rejected as an actress and with nothing left to lose, Spoonette takes her brother’s place in the US Space Corps to fight off the coming threat of Lord Vyce. Now, she has to deal with army drills, her high school stalker with the ability to hack the Pentagon, and a captain who is both way hot and way annoying. Bogus.
Author’s Note: Inspired by this prompt, though I don’t really know if it qualifies as a fill for it. Special thanks to pompoko and ladydiskette for beta-ing, and of coursetrulyamindlost, robynred, and lizynob for their lovely bonus content

It was a nightmare. It had to be. There was no way Spoony was going to war to die, not when 80s Chick was pregnant, not when Spoonette was relying on him to support her both emotionally and financially, not when he was nowhere near strong enough to be a soldier.


“How did you end up 1A?” she asked furiously. “Your heart isn’t strong enough for caffeine, let alone battle!”


“It’s the Space Corps. You don’t have to physically fight as much, just shoot. They’ll probably give me a cushy position as the transport operator or something.”


“You can’t go!”


He shook his head sadly. “If I just dodge draft, I’ll go to jail,” he pointed out. “And then you girls will be left alone anyway.”


Spoonette spent the first week trying to think of a solution. The second week, she had come up with the only one she could. She went to a costuming shop and bought a pair of extra-sharp scissors, one box of dark-brown hair dye and one of blonde, and a good chest binder.


The night before Spoony was to leave, Spoonette hugged him tightly before he went to bed, much earlier than usual since he would have to leave before dawn. Spoonette tried to act normal, sitting with 80s Chick until she went to bed, then petting Oreo until she was sure the other two were fast asleep.


Finally, around midnight, she moved. Spoony couldn’t go. He had too much to lose. Spoonette had nothing. She was single, poor, mooching off her brother and his wife, and it wasn’t going to change any time soon.


Not unless she changed it.


So she slipped into the bedroom where Spoony and 80s Chick lay sleeping. Set the letter she had spent the last hour composing on the nightstand and taking her brother’s wallet. Turned off his alarm, knowing he would sleep an extra three hours without it. She looked at Spoony for a long moment before she turned and went into the bathroom, locking the door behind her and taking out her scissors.


It was a bit difficult, working based on an ID photo, but she knew Spoony’s hair well enough to get it mostly right. The back probably wouldn’t be perfect, but it wasn’t like anyone would look too closely at it anyway. Blonde hair littered the counter, but finally, it was done. Spoonette took the comb and adjusted the part, ruffling her hair to look more boyish.


Once she had finished cutting, she picked up the box dye and followed the directions carefully. She was in a bit of a hurry, but she couldn’t mess this up. As she sat down and waited for the dye to take, she practiced her Spoony voice. It wasn’t too hard; her voice was only a pitch above his and she had spent a lot of her college days and girls’ nights mocking him.


She might not have been Hollywood material, but she was still an actress and if there was one person she could play flawlessly, it was her twin.


Finally, her hair was done. She examined it carefully to be sure she hadn’t missed anything before undressing and rinsing it out. Once finished, she cleaned the excess dye from her body and pulled the binder on, adjusting it to compress her chest. She took a few deep breaths to make sure that she wouldn’t collapse her own rib cage before she grabbed one of Spoony’s shirts and a pair of jeans and got dressed.


Once done, she looked in the mirror. Same green eyes. Same slender build. Same stupid over-sized nose. With her hair cut and darkened back to its natural color, she looked exactly like him.


She checked her watch. Three AM. To get to the Space Corps headquarters, she would have to leave by 4:30. Might as well go before she could change her mind.


Spoony’s suitcase was by the door. She hated taking his things, but she had to. His life was more important.


She grabbed the suitcase and walked out the door, hailing a taxi on the main road. As she rode away, she looked back the house and hoped they would understand.


*


Spoony woke with a start. Something was wrong, he knew, and a glance at the clock proved he was right. “Shit!” he shouted, scrambling out of bed. His alarm hadn’t gone off and now he was hopelessly late. As he reached for his phone, though, he saw that his wallet was missing and there was an envelope on the nightstand.


“What’s the matter?” 80s Chick murmured sleepily as Spoony ripped open the envelope and read the note quickly.


Spoony—


I’ve gone to the Space Corps in your place. There’s a box of blonde dye in the bathroom if you want it, or you can just keep writing under my name.


I’m sorry. I couldn’t let you go like this.


Spoonette


His breath caught as he passed it to 80s Chick. She skimmed it silently before looking wide-eyed at her husband. “Can we still catch her?” she asked.


Spoony shook his head. “She left hours ago. She’ll be halfway into space by now.”


80s Chick sat beside him and wrapped her arm around him. “What do we do now?”


Spoony leaned on her chest, hugging her tight. “I don’t know.”


*


It was just another audition. That was what Spoonette told herself as she walked into the Space Corps headquarters. Just an audition for a role that would make all the difference. And this was just the first round.


“Antwiler! Number 34609, Antwiler!”


And that was her cue. She stepped up, doing her best to be Spoony, confident, cheerful, without a fuck to give. She presented his draft card to the sergeant, who barely glanced at her as he stamped it.


“First door on the left. You’re assigned to Comicron-One.”


She nodded and went through the door. Audition round one passed.


A second sergeant checked her card and sent her to the third shuttle for new recruits. She got on and took a seat near the middle, next to a window, trying not to attract any attention.


Over the next hour, the other new recruits filtered in. Most ignored Spoonette, and she had just begun to think she would spend the journey undisturbed when a sudden weight shift made her glance to her left to see a fresh-faced teenager wearing sunglasses sit right next to her. She considered pulling out a book, but there was no reason to be unfriendly.


“Hello,” she said, lower her voice just a bit.


“Hey, dude!” the teenager said in a voice that was a bit too loud and way too enthusiastic. “Comicron-One, right?”


“Yeah,” Spoonette said. “You get drafted or did you sign up?”


“Drafted,” he said. “Just my luck that there’d be a threat the moment I turned eighteen.”


“Yeah,” Spoonette agreed. “They should’ve called someone older.”


The boy shrugged. “Just as well. I wasn’t going anywhere. Probably would have signed up eventually.”


“Still…”


“Don’t worry, dude,” he said. “I know what I’m getting into.” He smiled. “I’m called 90s Kid.”


She smiled back. “I’m Spoony.”


There was a sudden roar and the shuttle took off. Spoonette stared out the window as they left the earth. She’d passed the audition. No one was going to send her back now. Sure, she might be arrested later on, but only after the war was over.


She was on her way.

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Date: 6/7/15 06:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ocelot-l.livejournal.com
I really enjoyed seeing Spoonette's selflessness here. She loves her brother so much that she's even willing to possibly die to keep him safe and with his family-that's true love if I've ever seen it. I really enjoyed the Mulan-esque vibe of Spoonette's departure and I'm glad things have gone well so far, although I'm very curious to see what will happen when she has to either visit a nurse/doctor or enter the changing area/showers.

Also, yay for 90s Kid! I feel bad that he joined the army so early and felt like he would have ended up there anyway, but I'd love to see him become friends with Spoonette!

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