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butterflyslinky) wrote2017-06-10 07:46 am
Pieces #12: Shattered Part Two
butterflyslinky lady_sci_fi for betaing.The next few hours were a blur of police and paramedics and other official people asking way too many questions. Linkara almost regretted letting Harvey call for official emergency services, but then he looked at Craig, broken and bleeding, and he knew that they needed professionals to deal with that.
Eventually, the police accepted the explanations they were given and Linkara was allowed to go home, Spoony and Craig both still in the hospital. Linkara had thought about staying with them but Spoony had overruled him.
“You need to sleep,” he said. “The adrenaline crash is going to hit you soon and you’ll need a bed.”
Linkara couldn’t argue with that. He finally staggered home around three in the morning and collapsed into bed almost immediately, grateful that he was too exhausted to worry about his lovers before sleep overtook him.
In spite of his exhaustion, though, Linkara did not sleep well. Every hour or so he’d start awake from some nightmare and lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, worrying.
He knew that Spoony and Craig got into scrapes fairly often—hell, he’d patched Spoony up from battles in the past—but this…this was different. There had been no need to involve professionals in the past, no need for lengthy hospital stays. If only Spoony and Craig could be here, with him, safe in Linkara’s arms…
The house was too quiet. Linkara had never lived alone, going straight from the protective care of his parents to living in a small apartment with five other men, and then coming here with his boyfriends to live happily ever after. Linkara was used to odd noises in the middle of the night, explosions from the lab or Nirvana from 90s Kid or Spoony cursing at a game or Craig fighting insomnia with some awful movie. But now, the only sound was the heater turning on and off, and that simply was not enough noise.
At about seven, he gave up and got up. He wouldn’t be able to go to the hospital for hours—he had no official relationship to either Spoony or Craig so he’d have to wait for official visiting hours—so Linkara had little choice but to get back to work as though nothing were happening.
It was only then that it occurred to him that Craig’s workflow would suffer from this incident. It wouldn’t be too long before the backlog ran out, leaving the fans wondering what had happened to stop updates to the website. Linkara hesitated—should he release a vlog, explaining that Craig was hurt and his work would be on hold for a while? Or should he simply upload the backlog for him slowly and hope Craig was able to get back to work soon?
Then again, as far as Linkara knew, Craig hadn’t even regained consciousness yet. It was unlikely he’d be working for weeks, if not months. Linkara hadn’t looked at the backlog yet, but he felt sure that it wouldn’t last that long.
As the realization hit him, Linkara felt ridiculous. His boys, the two people he loved most in the world, the two men he thought would always be there, were both in a hospital, away from him, leaving him responsible for everything, and all he could think about were Internet videos. Slowly, it all began to overwhelm him and the tears finally started.
*
Light.
Craig blinked. Yes, definitely light, bright and sterile, but there. Which meant he was awake, though he didn’t feel as much pain as before. Oh, it was there, but it was reduced to a few dull throbs in the worst areas.
He blinked again as he turned his head. Spoony was sitting beside him, asleep, with one arm in a sling. Craig breathed a sigh of relief. So he had been rescued, his boys had come for him just as he knew they would. It took a moment to calibrate, but Craig soon concluded he was in a hospital. And then he realized Spoony was hurt. He tried to reach out and comfort his lover, but the movement made the pain flare and he let out a sharp cry.
Green eyes snapped open at once. “Craig?” Spoony asked, his voice raspy with exhaustion.
“Spoony,” Craig whispered. He coughed a bit. “…happened?”
“We found you,” Spoony said. “Two of them are dead. The ringleader was arrested…pleaded no contest to the charges. He’s gone, and he’ll stay gone.” Spoony’s eyes were flashing in anger, but Craig wasn’t bothered.
“Where…we?” Craig gasped out.
“We’re in the hospital,” Spoony said, confirming what Craig had assumed. “You…most of the cuts were superficial, but they’re worried about your ribs and nose. Your legs set fine.”
“You?”
“Took a shot to the arm. Graze, mostly.” Spoony forced a smile. “I’m fine, really. Just hurts like a bitch if I move too much.”
“’Kara?”
“Uninjured. He’ll be back later, the hospital wouldn’t let him stay with us.”
“You should lie down.”
“I’m fine,” Spoony insisted. He leaned over and kissed Craig’s forehead. “I’m going to call for the doctor now, okay? You just relax.” He pressed the call button and Craig did his best to obey.
By the time the doctor arrived, Craig had slipped into sleep again.
*
Linkara arrived late that afternoon. Spoony gave him a small smile as he grabbed a second chair. “He woke up,” Spoony said. “Briefly, but the doctors say it’s a good sign.”
“You should have called,” Linkara said, keeping his voice low. “I was awake.”
“Didn’t have time,” Spoony said. “He was awake just long enough to get an update on all of our conditions.”
Linkara nodded. “And you?”
“I’m fine.”
“You got shot last night!”
“I told you, it’s just grazed, and I’ve been dozing all day. They keep giving me pain killers, I’m fine.”
Linkara sighed. “I just…I shouldn’t be the only one uninjured.”
“Your team pulled through just fine,” Spoony pointed out.
“Yeah, and they’ve gone home,” Linkara said. “Last night…it’s the first time I’ve ever slept in a completely empty house.” He leaned over and pulled Spoony into a hug. “I missed you. Both of you.”
Spoony hugged back with his good arm and pressed a kiss into Linkara’s hair. “We’re right here,” he said. “And we’ll come home soon.”
“I know.” They pulled apart. Linkara looked down at Craig and sighed, reaching down and taking Craig’s hand. “I’ve been wondering…what do we tell people about his videos?”
Spoony sighed. “Shit,” he muttered. “Hadn’t even thought of that.” He looked at Craig, his face open and heartbroken. “Wait until he wakes up and ask him, I guess,” he said. “I mean…I know he has a backlog, but I don’t want to presume…”
“Yeah,” Linkara said. “But people will notice that his videos suddenly cut off. We have to say something.”
“We don’t even know what was really going on,” Spoony pointed out. “And even when we find out, he probably won’t want that shared all over the Internet.”
Linkara ran a hand through his hair. “I just…I don’t know what to do now,” he admitted. “We’ve rescued him…now I can’t do anything for him.”
“You can be here,” Spoony said. “That’s what we can do, and when he gets home, we can keep being here. We’ll take care of him. Like we always do.”
“But we don’t,” Linkara said. “This…he’s here because we didn’t take care of him.”
“We’ve been through this,” Spoony said impatiently. “It’s not your fault. You can’t be the hero every fucking second of the day.”
“But when it matters…”
“When it mattered, you saved him. When it mattered, you took the shot and trusted yourself not to hurt him. You can’t blame yourself for what happened.”
“But I do,” Linkara said. “I can’t help it…it’s part of being a hero. I know I can’t protect you all the time, I know I couldn’t have saved him…but I still feel guilty about it.”
“If you two are done arguing,” Craig mumbled from the bed. “Could you call a nurse for more pain killers?”
Linkara’s face finally broke into a smile. “Craig,” he gasped, leaning over to kiss him. “How long have you been awake?”
“Long enough to hear that fucking sapfest,” Craig grumbled, turning over. He did smile back, though, his blue eyes shining. “And I agree with Spoony. This isn’t your fault.”
“Thank you,” Spoony said. “Now, are you going to tell us whose fault it is?”
Craig’s smile slipped. “Later,” he said. “When I’m out of here and my head doesn’t feel like it’s going to drop off.”
“Take your time, sweetheart,” Linkara said. “You’re safe now…there’s absolutely no rush.”
Craig nodded, though his eyes were far away. He grasped Linkara’s hand for a moment and accepted the kiss Spoony pressed to his mouth. “Now,” Craig said when they had disentangled. “Where’s that damn nurse?”
*
Dear viewers,
Apologies for my absence and for not making a proper vlog explaining it. I’m not fit to be on camera right now.
See, I was injured rather badly recently. Rather not go into details, but I’m in the hospital still. Videos will be on hiatus for a month or two. I have some backlog to upload, so I’ll be releasing that slowly.
Don’t worry. My boys are looking after me, and being as annoying about it as possible.
See you all later,
The Cinema Snob.
*
“Linkara?”
Linkara looked up from his computer. “Hmm?”
Spoony stood in the doorway, looking worried. “You haven’t slept.” It wasn’t a question. “It’s been two weeks and you’ve barely slept at all.”
“Sorry,” Linkara said. “Just…if I keep busy, I’m not worrying.”
Spoony sighed and moved into the room. “We made a promise,” he said. “We said we wouldn’t keep doing this.”
Linkara blinked back tears. “I know,” he said. “But…he’s safe right now. He’s not even home yet…and you can look after yourself and…”
“You can’t make anything better by working yourself to death. Believe me, I’ve tried it.” Spoony went and kissed Linkara gently. “Now come on…you need to rest.”
“I don’t want to think about it,” Linkara said. “I need distraction…I need…”
“You need to stop being the hero. Just for tonight, you need to be a person. A vulnerable, frightened, hurt person who lets someone else look after him.”
After a long moment, Linkara nodded. “You’re right,” he said. “You’re right, I just…I don’t know how to stop.”
Spoony took Linkara’s hands and pulled him to his feet. “You start by coming to bed,” he said. “You sleep, and then tomorrow, we go somewhere shitty but comforting for breakfast, and then we come back here and cuddle while watching Power Rangers or whatever stupid thing you want. Then we go up to the hospital and see Craig and let him know how much we miss him.”
Linkara nodded again. “Okay,” he said. “Okay…that will work.”
*
It was far too long before Craig came back from the hospital. Too many long nights of a bed feeling just a bit more empty, of a kitchen just slightly underused, of Lloyd wandering around despondent and lonely at the loss of his owner.
Linkara and Spoony felt much as Lloyd did, even when they could go to the hospital every day to see Craig. For his part, Craig seemed to be keeping in fairly good spirits, making stupid jokes and bitching about the hospital staff and food like this was just a minor inconvenience. To his boys, though, it was obvious he was just hiding behind his smile and grumpy demeanor. He still hadn’t told them who the men who had taken him were or why they wanted to hurt him so badly, and it was starting to gall on them just a little bit.
“Why can’t he just tell us?” Spoony burst out one night. They’d just gotten home and while Linkara was worrying less, there were still too many unanswered questions for both of them to fully relax. “We’re his partners! Boyfriends! Whatever you want to call it, and he can’t explain to us why we had to go through all that…why he had to go through all that.”
“He said he’d tell us when he gets home,” Linkara said. “He probably doesn’t want someone walking in while he’s talking. It seems to be pretty personal.”
“Yeah, but he’s not going to be discharged for another week.” Spoony started pacing. “It’s killing me not knowing who hurt him.”
“His attacker’s in custody now,” Linkara said. “And if he’s ever not in custody, at least we know to watch out for him. We just have to be patient.”
Spoony sighed. “You know I don’t do patient well,” he said.
“I know. But if I have to stop worrying so much, you have to learn to be patient and not demand that he tell us everything right away.”
“I suppose you’re right.” Spoony collapsed on the couch. “We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?”
“That’s why we have him—to balance us.” Linkara sat down next to Spoony. “I love you, but…we’re not complete like this, are we?”
Spoony shook his head. “We never have been,” he said. “Before all this started…we were on the verge of something. Honestly, I never knew what was holding us back for all those years…until we found him in that alley. That’s what I realized…you and I weren’t meant to be a couple. We were meant to be part of him…part of this.”
“Yeah,” Linkara said. “I never would have realized how much I love either of you if it wasn’t all three of us at once. It just…works like this.” He hesitated for a moment. “Spoony…if he hadn’t made it…if they had killed him…would there still be an us?”
Spoony sighed. “I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t know if we could have built something, just the two of us…I love you, but…it just wouldn’t be the same.” He pulled Linkara into his arms. “It would be like that if we lost you as well. But you have to remember—he did make it. We all made it. We still have this.”
“Yeah,” Linkara said. “Yeah, you’re right…and if we lost you, it would be that way.” He leaned on Spoony for a moment. “He’s coming home soon. We’re all going to be okay.”
“Exactly.” Spoony kissed Linkara. “Hold onto that.”
*
Coming home was so strange.
Everything was as it had been when Craig had gone out that fateful night. A few components of Comicron One were different, there were different video games and comics scattered about, the weapons had all been moved, but otherwise it was exactly the same. Familiar. Home.
But he was different. His boys were different. Linkara hovered around him, concern written in every move and expression. Spoony didn’t hover, exactly, but there were questions in his face every time he looked at Craig, clearly only held back by the need to give the other man space to settle back in.
On the one hand, the fussing was kind of annoying. Craig was fine, mostly. Shaky on his recently healed legs, but fine. He didn’t need his boys worrying themselves sick over him.
On the other hand…well, it was endearing how they fell over themselves trying to make up for leaving him on his own for just one night. One night that ended in so much pain.
They tried to be normal. Craig knew that was the goal, that they were trying to be happy, but it was impossible. He also didn’t miss the looks they kept giving each other over his head. He knew them well enough to read their conversation even without words.
Ask him. We need to know.
Not now, Spoony. Let him rest. Let him be happy.
Is putting it off going to make it better?
We agreed to give him space.
That was more irritating than the fussing. As they sat down for dinner, Craig glanced between them before he finally sighed. “You’re probably wondering what all of this was about.”
Spoony opened his mouth, but Linkara beat him to the punch. “Craig, you need rest. We can wait to hear about it until you’re ready.”
“If you wait until I’m ready to talk about it, you’re going to be here a very long time,” Craig snapped. He paused for a moment, regaining his composure. “Your concern is appreciated, but Spoony’s right—we need to talk about this.”
Linkara sighed. “If you’re sure…”
“I am sure.” Craig took a few deep breaths. “So…I have a secret. And it’s a little more serious than liking shitty 90s media or wearing a dress on occasion.”
Spoony leaned over and took Craig’s hand. “We’re listening.”
“Back before I was the Snob, when I was still just another broke asshole with a dream of making shitty movies, I was desperate to raise the money to realize that dream.” Craig swallowed. After so much time, he thought this was all behind him. “I drifted from city to city, looking for my chance. Eventually, I made my way to Chicago. I figured, big city, lots of opportunity. I was sure to make it there.
“Of course I didn’t have a fucking clue what I was doing. I drifted more, looking for some way to get the money I needed to make my movie. One night, I’m out at some seedy bar when this guy comes up to me and asks how much I charge. I had no idea what he meant…well, I did, but I didn’t know why he was asking me. But that’s when it hit me—I could make my money that way. So I gave him a number and he accepted it.”
Linkara’s eyes were wide. “You mean you…?”
“Yes.” Craig looked down, clearly ashamed. “I was a fucking whore, Linkara, and you can’t just file that away as something we just ignore. Not anymore you can’t.
“Afterwards, this guy said his name was Scott and if I wanted, he could set me up on more jobs like that. I took it…I was desperate, not just to finish my art, but just to survive.
“It went on for almost two years. He was…awful to me, but you could probably guess that. At first I thought it didn’t matter as long as I was getting the money, but then…one day I accidentally picked up an undercover cop. She was nice to me—she sympathized. She said that if I helped her, she’d let me go. I told her everything, where to find Scott, who I’d seen…she told me to get a head start out of town, and I did. I ran, and I kept running until I was well and truly away from there.
“I didn’t know what happened after that until they caught up to me again. I thought I was free of them, of that life…I had changed my name, my patterns, everything.” He sighed. “Well…I was wrong. They did catch up…but it’s over now. He’s gone again, and if he comes back…”
“They won’t,” Spoony said firmly. “Whatever they did…whatever you were, we’ll protect you.” He looked up. “Right, Linkara?”
Linkara nodded mutely. He swallowed a few times. “Yeah,” he said, reaching over to take Craig’s other hand. “Yeah, it’s…god, Craig, I had no idea…I’m so sorry you had to go through all that.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before,” Craig said. “It was so long ago…I never thought it would affect you.” He took a breath, the tears finally starting. “And…I didn’t want to tell you because…because I didn’t think either of you would want me to stay, knowing what I was…what I did. The man you thought you were saving…he’s not who you thought.”
“Of course he is,” Linkara said. “Craig, nothing about you has changed. We just have a little more backstory now.”
“Yeah,” Spoony agreed. “We love you. And we will always come to save you, from anything, no matter what you used to be. You’re so goddamned precious to us…we wouldn’t be the same without you.”
“This is a threeway relationship,” Linkara added. “And we agreed…it wouldn’t work with just two. If we lose you, we lose everything we’ve built over the last year.”
Craig nodded. “Thanks, guys,” he said. “It…it means a lot, knowing…knowing you’ll always save me.” He took a shuddering breath and managed to pull himself back together. “And you both know now…what happened had nothing to do with you. It was about me…there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.”
“We should have been with you,” Linkara said. “They would have had a harder time taking three of us than just you.”
Craig shook his head. “You can’t spend every moment hovering over me. And even if you’d been there, they would have found a way to get to me. This isn’t either of your faults, and I don’t want you thinking you should have done anything more than what you did. Understand?”
“Yes,” Linkara and Spoony said together.
“But that doesn’t mean we’re going to stop taking care of you in the meantime,” Linkara added. “You’ve still been through a horrible ordeal and we know you need a lot of care after that.”
“It’s how we got you, after all,” Spoony agreed. “You getting into trouble and us having to save you.”
Craig smiled a bit and squeezed their hands. “My own personal knights in shining armor. I’m fucking flattered I get to be your fucking damsel all the time.”
And for the first time in a long time, all three of them laughed.
“Come on,” Craig said. “I’ve been back in this house for a whole three hours and you two haven’t welcomed me back properly.” He stood up.
Spoony rose as well, but Linkara hesitated. Craig sighed. “I’m clean. I’ve been tested so many fucking times…”
“No,” Linkara said. “It’s not that…I trust you not to hurt us, even indirectly…but are you sure you want it? I don’t want to hurt you or tire you out or…”
“Linkara,” Craig said. “I’m not going to break. I need you…both of you, right now.”
“Come on, babe,” Spoony said. He took Linkara’s hand and pulled him up and into a kiss. “He’s right. We haven’t welcomed him home yet.”
Linkara nodded and turned to kiss Craig, deep and tender, conveying every apology he’d wanted to make over the last few months. Then Craig kissed Spoony and they all three stumbled toward the bedroom.
Falling back into bed with his boys was strange as well, clothes coming off so naturally, finding the places to touch and kiss as though it was second nature by now. They were so gentle in their kisses and caresses, so tender in every word they whispered. Linkara kissed down his chest, worshipping his body, while Spoony moved behind him, petting his sides and kissing his neck. Craig fell into it easily, feeling safe and loved in every possible way.
He clutched at them, keeping them as close as possible. The thought that they had almost lost this, that they had come so close to death or permanent separation, weighed heavy on his mind. Dying was one thing—Craig had faced death before, they all had, and they always came back just fine. But knowing that his death would have destroyed his boys so completely…knowing that they wouldn’t have been able to even take comfort in each other…that frightened him, made him kiss them deeper and touch them more urgently.
“Relax,” Spoony whispered, as though he could read Craig’s thoughts. “You’re fine, we’re all fine…we’re not going to lose you, I promise. And you won’t lose us.”
Linkara looked up. “Maybe not promise,” he said gently. “No one can promise anything.”
“We can promise this,” Craig said. He pulled Linkara up and kissed him. “We can promise to love each other, always. We can promise to save each other as best as we can…I know you guys are two for two on that, but I’m working on it. We can promise to understand each other, and we can promise to pick up the pieces whenever we break. No, you can’t promise you won’t lose me, or that I won’t get hurt…but we can all promise that in the end, we’re part of each other and we won’t let that go.”
Linkara and Spoony looked at him, then at each other for a moment. Finally, Linkara leaned in and kissed Craig, pouring every emotion he’d ever felt into it. He pulled back and Spoony took his place. “I can promise that,” Linkara whispered.
“So can I,” Spoony agreed.
Craig smiled at them. “Now go back to what you were doing,” he ordered. “All this sappy shit is killing the mood.”
“You started it,” Spoony snapped, tickling down Craig’s ribs.
“Gah! Spoony, I swear to god—!”
“Stop it, you two,” Linkara said, settling himself between Craig’s legs. “This is a serious, loving relationship and you will treat it as such.”
Spoony and Craig exchanged a glance before they turned their attack on Linkara, tackling him back onto the bed.
After several minutes of teasing and laughter, they found the mood was just fine after all.
*
Linkara woke early the next morning. He looked at Spoony and Craig, still asleep and entwined in each other. He smiled slightly before he gently extracted himself from Craig’s hold and dressed quietly.
He went downstairs and took Oreo outside. As the dog sniffed around the yard, Linkara sat on the porch step, staring off into space and thinking hard.
The door opened again and he looked up to see Craig stepping out. “Morning,” Craig said quietly.
“Morning,” Linkara said. Craig sat down next to him.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Who says I was thinking about anything?”
“You do it very loudly.” Craig smiled and leaned on him. “Not that I mind, but you should share.”
Linkara sighed. “Spoony said I need to stop being a hero,” he said. “But I don’t know how to do that. And I feel guilty, because you’re the one who went through a horrible experience but I can’t help making it about me and my personal insecurities and…”
“Hey,” Craig said. “It’s okay…it happened to me, yes, but it also happened to you. You’re used to saving everyone, and we love each other.” He twined his hand in Linkara’s and kissed his cheek. “And you did save me. Both of you did, in more ways than you know.”
“I shot you.”
“Yes,” Craig said. “You shot me to save me. And I’m fine, because it’s magic.” He smiled. “And you don’t have to explain any of it. You can stop worrying about a hero…because you are one, always.”
Linkara smiled. “Thanks, dear.” He pulled his hand away and wrapped his arm around Craig. “But don’t sell yourself short—you’ve saved us as well. Just not in ways you can see.”
“I guess I can be content with that.”
The door opened again and Spoony appeared with the coffee pot. “Hey, you two,” he called. “We gonna have breakfast soon?”
They both turned and smiled. “Yeah,” Linkara called. “We’re coming in now.”
“No rush,” Spoony said. He stepped out on the porch and sat down on Craig’s other side, wrapping his arm around the smaller man’s waist. They stayed there for a long time, watching the sun come up.
Bonus Content